The Houseplant Song - Audio Adrenaline

Once I read a book

And this is what it said

«If your music has a beat

Then you’re gonna wind up dead.»

It doesn’t really matter

If it’s CHRISTIAN or not

If it’s syncopated rhythm

Then your soul is gonna rot!

And this book was called

«HA, You’re gonna BURN!»

And in the second chapter

I went on to learn…

Take two houseplants

And put 'em to the test

Set 'em both in front of speakers

To let the music do the rest

First one you play Mozart

Or something lovely like that

Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!

Doesn’t really matter WHAT kinda rock it is

So I took my two houseplants

And I put them to the test

Set 'em both in front of speakers

To let the music do the rest

I powered up my Pioneers to let the music roar

But twenty minutes later, someone’s knocking at my door

I opened up my door

And there my neighbor stood

He said, «Man, I’d like to get some sleep

If you think I could.»

I said, «Man, can’t you see here

I have got this moral dilemma I have got to get clear

He said, «What kind of moral dilemma can you have at this time of night

That could make me so angry I JUST WANNA FIGHT!»

Sorry

So I pointed to the page

In that opened book

That had a picture of a potted plant, and I said

«Go have a look.»

And he read:

Take two houseplants

And put 'em to the test

Set 'em both in front of speakers

To let the music do the rest

First one you play Mozart

Or something lovely like that

Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!

Doesn’t really matter WHAT kinda rock it is

«First of all,» he said

«That's Wagner that you’re playin'

I’ve never heard of Petra

And isn’t Megadeth all dead?»

And secondly, emphatically

He asked me, «What's the sense

Of hanging out with houseplants

When, hey, I live right across the fence?»

And I thought to myself

Y’know, that’s a good point

So I took my two houseplants

And I put 'em both back outside

And me and my neighbor

Well, we went out for a ride

We talked about all the things

That really matter most

Like life n' love n' happiness

And then the Holy Ghost."

Now my two houseplants

Can sit out in the sun

And as for my neighbor

Well, our friendship has become

A meaningful relationship

That’s headed straight to heaven

But as for now

We like to sit around and listen to

Audio Adrenaline, CRANKED TO ELEVEN!