Das Monkey - Archagathus

Das Monkey is strong and intelligent too

He can do anything a person could do

Like go into space or get a tattoo

Or eat cotton candy or wear tiny shoes

Das Monkey can communicate with gestures and signs

(which unfortunately doesn’t work with those who are blind)

But let’s face it you know that it’s true

Das Monkey should be treated like me or you

He’s basically your child but with a furry face

Yet society insists on putting him in a cage

And zapping his body and spraying him with mace

Or whatever they do in a vivisection lab

No matter what it is, I’m sure it’s pretty bad

So fuck filling your garden with little plastic gnomes

Let’s all invite these monkeys into our homes

We can end this oppression of our primate friends

So mincecore and science can finally make amends!