Eternal Youth Is Worth A Little Suffering - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Patti LuPone

I don’t think you should shoot before July 15th

Right now is a perilous time for Pisces

If you wait 'til Venus is in Capricorn

You’ll avoid a catalog of crises

I need three more weeks to get these thighs in shape

No more carbohydrates, don’t be naughty

We’ll soon have you skipping like an ingenue

You won’t look a day over forty

We have dry heat, we have steam

We have moisturizing cream

We had mud-packs

We have blood sacks

It’s a rigorous regime

Not a wrinkle when you twinkle

Or a wobble when you walk

Of course, there’s bound to be a little suffering

Eternal youth is worth a little suffering

Listen to your super ego not your id

Age is just another damn neurosis

I’ll have you regressing back to infancy

And back into the womb under hypnosis

I inject the tissue of the fetal lamb

The formula’s the one Somerset Maugham owns

Just modest course of thirty-seven shots

And you will be a heaving mass of hormones

No more crow’s feet, no more flab

No more love handles to grab

You’ll be so thin they’ll all think you’re

Walking sideways like a crab

Nothing sagging, nothing bagging

Nothing dragging on the floor

Of course, there’s bound to be a little suffering

Eternal youth is worth a little suffering

Of course, there’s bound to be a little suffering

Eternal youth is worth a little suffering

Of course, there’s bound to be a little suffering