Drunk By Noon - Andrew Bird

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy,

He lived in a cage the size of his thumb

And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks,

he galloped around until hit by a car

Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird

just to remind myself I’ll never fly

Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes

just to pretend I won’t scream when I die

If my life was as long as the moon’s,

I’d still be jealous of the sun

If my life lasted only one day,

I’d still be drunk by noon,

Yes, I’d still be drunk by noon.

Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer

At least then I’ll get to watch TV all day

And on my deathbed I’ll get all the answers

even if all my questions are taken away.

If my life was as long as the moon’s,

I’d still be jealous of the sun

If my life lasted only one day,

I’d still be drunk by noon,

I’d still be drunk by noon.