Desire - Accent, Xandra

Everything I want now’s what I couldn’t have

Looking at it like «wow what I would for that»

I’d put 'em back in their aisles where they stood on racks

And wonder if I had a dad around could I tug his slacks

Our cupboards lacked any piles I could rummage past

«What to have»?

Thinking «I'll eat a butter slab»

Stomach flat when it growled in a hungry yap

I’d ponder if my daddy was in town, could I munch a snack

«Mommy, mommy I want this»

«Mommy, mommy» I’d hug her hips

And then a tear would develop under my lids

Scrunching my lips, I guess I wasn’t getting what money is

That must’ve been why I was obsessed with comic strips

Another dimension where some exist to summon gifts

And punish criminals, a funny thing I would contradict

'cause once in a bit I’d unzip and stuff one in

Under water, under water

We just need air

Nothing bothers, nothing bothers

You and me there

You hold me high

When I feel so low

And I survive

We always do

Everything I want today’s what I seldom owned

The wetness rose in the holes of my ripping soles

Bitter cold licked my toes when I stepped in snow

I’d think «yo if he didn’t go I’d get some winter clothes»

He left us both and I was scared to death she hit the road

At seven old in her sister’s home where I’d sit at phones

Next I know I spent a whole year and distance’d grown

Eventually though my bedroom door was opened and she gripped me close

«Mommy, Mommy I missed you so»

«Mommy, Mommy» She kissed my nose

And then a river flowed from our skin and was blended

When she told me «Billy let us go» I said «Never again»

Now when the weather’s grim in the city and wind’s

At chilling temps I tend to then remember those feelings and grin

I’d definitely been through thick and thin until its bitter end

But even then I never did learn where Desi went

My mother gave away all my toys

As just a boy to make the space 'cause she was annoyed

And I remember the lies to her current love she

Hid my things in the closet to stop him from learning of me

I barely ever even had my own quarters

Which gives a new meaning to living room for boarders

Couldn’t set up figures, couldn’t hang a poster

Gd forbid if it looked like a kid would hang or post up

Now as a man it’s better and I’m an advanced collecter

My figures stand in sectors with themes and band together

So when I heed possessions a deep completions sets in

And if a piece is missing then a piece of me is missing

I’m gonna buy my childhood for my birthday

All the while denying why I got one in the first place

I desire more and the void in me widens more

She tried her hardest and the boy in me fights her for it