Avanti (Ten Don'ts for Honeymooners) - The Monochrome Set

Don' t ski naked down Mt. Everest

With lilies up your nose

Don' t punt up the Ganges in a vest

And holler 'Thar she blows'

Don' t fish for tunny in Meat Madras

With blotting pads as bait

Don' t converse with shrimps of higher class

About the church and state

I’d play hoop-la with Saturn’s rings

I’d tie a knot in Erroll Flynn’s

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying

For you

Don’t dance the polka in a dhoti

Arid whistle the Rite of Spring

Don’t recite Hamlet’s soliloquy

While munching onion rings

Don' t plant a stickleback in a field

On St. Augustine’s Day

Don' t sharpen your sword and beat your shield

And somersault up a brae

I’d juggle with Jupiter’s moons

I’d flatten the Sahara’s dunes

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yoon

Don' t build a pyramid on the pole

With Frosties packets and glue

Don' t serve rubber bullets in a bowl

And call it Irish Stew

Don' t change all the water into wine

And walk on the Dead Sea

Never sing the Song of the Golden Rhine

With an augmented flea

I’d make a world in seven days

I’d pasteurise the Milky Way

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

I’d play hoop-la with Saturn’s rings

I’d tie a knot in Erroll Flynn’s

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying

I’d juggle with Jupiter’s moons

I’d flatten the Sahara’s dunes

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yi pee yoon

I’d kick Mars into a black hole

I’d spread plum jam on Denning’s rolls

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yole

I’d squeeze the spots out from the sun

I’d swim the Mare Imbrium

Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yun

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay

Tara diddle dyno day

Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay