The Painless Dentist Song (I'm Doctor Prentiss, the Painless Dentist) - Allan Sherman

Reisman & His

Orchestra, from the movie «The Gay Divorcée»)

Beautiful molars…

Lovely bicuspids…

I’m Dr. Prentice, the painless dentist;

By that what’s meant is

It really doesn’t hurt

This is Miss Klinger;

you’ve met her finger

So open wide, and Miss Klinger will squirt

Well, well, I say there

We’ve got decay there

Can’t let it stay there and cause you all that pain

So please Miss Klinger, remove your finger

And won’t you hand me down my Novocaine

It’s far worse than I thought it was;

My charge is gonna be large

Don’t be unwilling

It’s just a filling

I’m simply drilling to dig a little pit

Don’t fight Miss Klinger, or bite her finger

And now while I change the drill you can spit

I hum while you’re bleeding;

It takes your mind off

The things I grind off

Your gums are receding;

You’ll have to come back

We’ll build that gum back

And now if you will open wide

Miss Klinger’s gonna put her whole darn fist inside

That’s it… now it’s over

They’ll be a puffiness around your cheeks

You’ll have to eat soft food for three more weeks

And if you’ll kindly stop those ghastly shrieks

I’m through

Beautiful molars…

Lovely bicuspids…

By Dr. Prentice!