Downtown Crazy Downtown (That's Where You Are You Finks) - Allan Sherman

Mommy and Dad are never nervous or mad

When you teenagers go downtown

Daddy and Mom just stay at home and be calm

And watch the late late show, uptown

'Cause when you kids are gone we get to spend some time alone here

That’s our only chance to use the bathtub or the phone here

When you’re away

Besides, we’re stuck where we are

Because you kids took our money, you kids took our car and went

Downtown, where can you possibly

Downtown, it’s twenty after three

Downtown, what do you mean by, «Let's frug»?

You don’t come home till 4 AM cause you’re roaming

In the streets somewhere, downtown

We would feel swell if only someone would tell us

What goes on down there, downtown

But every time we ask you what you’re doing after dark there

You just say that you were frugging to Petula Clark there

That’s what I mean

So, kids, give your folks a break

Because you’re driving us crazy, we sit here all night and take

Milltown, swallowing pills so we’ll

Calm down, counting the hours you’re

Downtown, you and your frug and your slop

While we’re lying there we try to watch the television

Then you call us up and say you’ve had a slight collision

There goes the car

Besides that you’ve been arrested

So we’ve got to get up, and we’ve got to get dressed and go

Downtown, borrow a car and go

Downtown, that’s where you are, you finks

Downtown, wait 'till I get you kids home

(Spoken) There’ll be no more frugging, no swim, no jerk, no mashed potato,

no slop!

And you know what else?

You’re gonna stay home tonight,

and your mother and I are going downtown and we’re going to dance the tango,

and the waltz, and the foxtrot, and we’re gonna do the bunny hop.

That’s a nice dance!

And there’ll be no more frugging!

Is that quite clear?

NO MORE FRUGGING!