It Doesn’t Matter To Him - John Grant

If I think about it, I am successful, as it were

I get to sing for lovely people all over this lovely world

And I am nowhere near as awkward as I was when I was younger

I guess I’m one of those guys who gets better looking as they age

And even though I have felt beaten down by constant doubt

Depression, and confusion brought about by people’s actions, death,

and tax forms

I keep getting up.

And I am loved by all my friends and family;

Though, there have been lots of raised eyebrows

And concerned glances lately

It doesn’t matter to him

I could be anything

But I could never win his heart again

It doesn’t matter to him

He took away my AAA pass

I am invisible to him

And now I feel the soft, pink flesh of my heart hardening

To the countless possibilities contained within each day

Vulnerability feels like a cold, wet concrete room lit with fluorescent light

Which, as you know, makes everything look bad

I still keep trying to figure out how I became irrelevant

How I got myself evicted from his heart from one day to the next

And the worst part is that, even if I got an answer right now

It would not change anything because we have become two strangers

It doesn’t matter to him

I could be anything

But I could never win his heart again

It doesn’t matter to him

He took away my AAA pass

I am invisible to him