a Broken Jar - La Dispute

So, here goes: one last letter now

One last attempt to make sense

Who have I been writing to?

I’m not sure anymore

What have I been trying to accomplish?

It’s a mystery, I guess.

Self-made secrecy?

Things get cloudy and now all these stories and

The struggle as an undercurrent, both get blurry by the minute, both get

blurrier

So which voice is this then that I’ve been writing in?

Is it my own or his?

Has there ever been a difference between them at all?

I don’t know

I don’t know

I don’t know

One last desperate plea.

One last verse to sing

One last laugh track to accompany the comedy

Have I been losing it completely?

Losing sanity?

Or has it been fabricated, fashioned by the worst of me?

I know I knocked the table over because I watched the jar break

And I’ve been trying to repair it every single stupid day

But won’t the cracks still show no matter how well it’s assembled?

Can I ever just decide to let it die and let you go?

All my motives and every single narrative below reflects

That moment when you it broke

And will I never let it go no matter what?

Now I am throwing all the shards away

Discarding every fragment, and fumbling uncertain

Towards a curtain call that no one wants to happen

That no one’s going to clap for at all, but that still has to be