Paddy's Night Out - The Wolfe Tones

Was a wet day in London, me fortunes were crumblin'

I was on me way back from building the job

And the foreman that day, he saw nothing may way

And the lorry ran over the sandals, begob

I was hungry and thirsty and felt a bit down

I went in for a little libation

I’d five pints of porter, three Jimmies for starters

Two pork pies and what —

Some cabbage and bacon

Though the day, it was dreary

Now I felt a bit cheery

In no time I was ready for action, begob

And I played the old jukebox

Pulled up the old blue socks —

And winked at this young woman beside me, begob

Wouldn’t it be, it would happen to me

She winked back and she sat down beside me

I told her me name and she told me the same

Says I to her, «What?»

«Then what are ya drinkin'?»

«Come here, me old flower» I said then to her

«It's the truth, I’m known as a liar»

«Come here, me old flower, I’ve seen ya before!»

«Give the woman in the bed there more porter»

She’d a gin and a tonic and I felt supersonic

For her figure was maybe the devil, begon

With curves in right places

Through satins and laces

That would tempt an old bishop

Though celibate, begob

Me luck might be in and tonight I might sin

Though last week I was just at confession

But who gives a damn

Sure would do me no harm

To have me a bit —

A bit of diversion

Well, I was playing it cool

As I do as a rule —

When the barman was calling for time now, begob

And she said with her sweet face

She’ll come back to my place

Was then that I knew she was mine now, begob

Her place it was lush

With carpets so plush

She took off me ol' cap —

Then the wellies

But old daddy delay

She wore a sweet negligé

Like the girls wear on what —

(On what?!)

On page three or telly

«Come here, me old flower»

I said then to her

«It's the truth, I’m known as a liar»

«Come here, me old flower, I’ve seen ya before!»

«Give the woman in the bed there more porter»

I don’t mean to be crude

But I stood in the nude

With this goddess, this beautiful Venus begob

She ruffled me duffle

We kissed and we shuffled

What a sight if me ma only seen us begob

I was feeling quite grand

With the business at hand

When this photo I saw on the dresser

Was herself and this man

Oh, with dirty big hands

For her husband was who —

(Was who?!)

Was Wild Bill the wrestler

Although she was charming

I felt alarming

He was mean as a hairy…

Gorilla, begob!

«If he caught me in bed

With his woman», I said —

«He'd kill me for sure

I can tell ya, begob»

She said, now, don’t worry

For he’d never hurry

Don’t seen him at all

He’s a messer

The door opened that night

And I got such a fright

In the doorway was who —

(Was who?!)

Was Wild Bill the wrestler

«Come here, me old flower»

I said then to her

«It's the truth, I’m known as a liar»

«Come here, me old flower, I’ve seen ya before!»

«Give the woman in the bed there more porter»

With rage he was steaming

His eyes they were gleaming

Like a wild bull, he charged over to me, begob

But I ducked his wild pass

Kick him in the ass

And ran like a hare for the doorway, begob!

I’d have gotten away

Without any delay

But I tripped and fell over the carpet

When I tried to get up

Well this dirty old pup —

Grabbed me by the what —

(The what?!)

By the leg and he pulled it

«Come here, me old flower»

I said then to her

«It's the truth, I’m known as a liar»

Don’t believe this old yarn

Don’t believe this old rhyme

For I’m pulling your leg like he’s pulling mine

Tooraloo, Tooralay, with your toorali oorali ay