I Had a Friend - Lee Hazlewood

Did you ever notice that some people don’t think

Let alone act like other people?

Now you take Tarzan

Did you that Tarzan ain’t even married to Jane?

Well he ain’t

I can see that poor girl now, squintin' her eyes

And lookin' up some big tree, sayin':

«Tarzan, honey, let’s get married this afternoon»

And I can see old Tarzan lookin' down at her, sayin':

«Jane, darlin', I’d love to, but me and Cheetah’s busy

Bustin' up coconuts for supper»

Did you know Tarzan ain’t never paid no income tax?

Well he ain’t

I can see that poor girl now, sayin':

«Tarzan you’d better pay your income tax

Or they gon' come and get you»

And old Tarzan’d stand right up there in that tree and yell:

«Let 'em come, Jane darlin, me and Cheetah’ll chuck 'em

With these here coconuts»

Did you know Tarzan ain’t even been vaccinated for smallpox?

I can just hear Jane say it now:

«Tarzan, come on down here and get vaccinated for smallpox»

And old Tarzan’d say:

«Phooey on you, Jane»

Did you know Tarzan cain’t read?

Well he cain’t

I can just hear Jane sayin':

«Ha Ha Ha Tarzan you can’t read»

And old Tarzan’d just stand right up there in that tree

With a big grin on his face and say:

«Hit her with a coconut, Cheetah»

I had a friend named Bill

He lived over there, on that big hill

I went to see him yesterday

Then I heard someone say:

You’re just in time to be too late

We shot Bill this mornin'

He read some books we didn’t appreciate

So we shot Bill this mornin'

You missed the crowd, all filled with hate

We burned his house last night at eight

Ain’t you sorry that you’re late

We shot Bill this mornin'

I had a friend named Sam

Sam was a mighty man

I went to see him yesterday

Then I heard someone say:

You’re just in time to be too late

We hung Sam this mornin'

He had ideas he thought were great

We hung Sam this mornin'

He said all men should be free

But we know this can never be

So we hung him to a tree

We hung Sam this mornin'