Two Little Babes in the Wood - Harpers Bizarre

There’s a tale of two little orphans who

Were left in their uncle’s care

To be reared and ruled and properly schooled

'Til they grew to be ladies fair

But, oh, the luckless pair

For the uncle, he was a cruel trustee

And he longed to possess their gold

So he led them thence to a forest dense

Where he left them to die of cold

That, at least, is what we’re told

They were two little babes in the wood

Two little babes, oh so good

Two little hearts

Two little heads

Longed to be home in their two little beds

So the two little birds built a nest

Where the two little babes went to rest

While the breeze, hovering high

Sang a last lullaby

To the two little babes in the wood

They were lying there in the freezing air

When fortunately there appeared

A rich old man in a big sedan

And a very, very fancy beard

He saw those girls and cheered

Then he drove them down to New York Town

Where he covered them with useful things

Such as bonds and stocks, and Paris frocks

And oriental pearls in strings

And a showcase full of rings

Now, those two little babes in the wood

Are the talk of the whole neighborhood

For they’ve too many cars

Too many clothes

Too many parties and too many beaus

They have learned that the fountain of youth

Is a mixture of gin and vermouth

And the whole town’s agreed

That the last thing in sleep

Is the two little babes in the wood