Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride -

It was a natural state of affairs

It was a quiet ambition of hers

She had a room overlooking the lawn

It was a perfect August morn

And with a crossword clue in her head

‘Origin of Species' read

King James' under the bed

No broken bones, no gaping wound

About 10 centimetres wide

No sword protruding from her side

It’s just like Dr Forbes implied

Old age killed my teenage bride

She didn’t care for adrenaline sports

Never learned any difficult chords

Did she ever have a scrap with a bear?

If she did, I wasn’t there

And yesterday at a hundred and one

She had a shower, cup of tea and a scone

And just as ‘Cash In The Attic' came on

Such sweet delight upon her face

No armed response team stood outside

No torso washed up on the tide

It could not be more cut and dried

Old age killed my teenage bride

And when she reached her centenary year

They gathered round her wanting to hear

All the tips on staying the course

She said, «At 21 I got a divorce

And I hold no particular creed

I’ve never coveted things I don’t need

Under ladders I walked without fuss

‘Cos it stopped me getting hit by a bus»

And she turned to the children at her side

And said, «Take the good and the bad times in your stride»

And, «Abseil for no one.»

Then she died

Seems old age killed my teenage bride

Teenage bride

My teenage bride